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God in a Smiths T-shirt by *starlightofdawn:iconstarlightofdawn:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Romantic > Cheap or Tawdry


I trusted you to wind me up again and give me all my time back. I guess we can't help being all we are; but I just wish that you could have been more for me. I put my faith in you - I thought you were a god in a Smiths t-shirt. Turns out you were just another guy who couldn't save me.

I'm so sorry: this is not intimacy; this is merely formality. Your body pushing my legs open, my fingers in your hair and our eyes so definitely open. I wish we could close them. I wish I wish I wish. We fuck with the door open and the music playing so loudly that I can't hear your breath in my ear or my own strangled whimpers. It's a celebration of our aches.

It's obvious that this will never work. I don't know if all sex is this violent. I don't know if all men hit their girlfriends. I don't know why it feels so good.

I can't resist kissing your face (down your nose, around your cheekbones, over your perfectly fucking formed Cupid's Bow). I don't understand why I love you the way I do, but I hope I'm not taking this too seriously.
©2008-2009 *starlightofdawn
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Submitted: January 4, 2008
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Comments: 7
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Author's Comments

Thank you so much to `conorschild for all of his advice and for sorting out my mixed metaphors.
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`conorschild:iconconorschild: Jan 4, 2008, 4:08:30 PM
It's great dear.

--
~thingsareprettyokay

#getLIT for people who think writing is just tops

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION BROS YO!!!
~Sazi-Medea:iconSazi-Medea: Jan 4, 2008, 7:12:08 PM
Honestly, love, have I ever told you how well you write? If I could do anything like that, I would! I applaude you, it's a topic easy enough for a lot of women to relate to too. If the whole are shebang doesn't go your way I'd seriously suggest persuing a career in writing.
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_________

Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree? Travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for something...
`conorschild:iconconorschild: Jan 6, 2008, 11:33:53 AM
On reading again though, I still don't like the ending. I dunno, it just feels like you could go on with it, that that was an introduction, not a complete piece.

--
~thingsareprettyokay

#getLIT for people who think writing is just tops

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION BROS YO!!!
`switchbladeserenade:iconswitchbladeserenade: Jan 6, 2008, 11:58:06 AM
Wow.. this is so intense. It's gritty, and alarming, at the same time as being disturbingly erotic.

I like the metaphor "god in a Smiths t-shirt". Very visual

--
I'm Like A Needle To The Vein

||Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, All of my base, Are belong to you :heart:||
=levdir:iconlevdir: Jan 9, 2008, 10:59:53 PM
"I don't know if all men hit their girlfriends. I don't know why it feels so good."

This makes it for me.

--
Unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it.
Mood: Adoration ~ashes-and-a-kiss:iconashes-and-a-kiss: May 1, 2008, 3:52:43 PM
breathtakingly real. && the band is the best one in the given context. The Smiths are amazing. flawless, i could read a whole book like this piece.

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:tunes: [link] (My last.fm account) :onfire: :la: :turbopoke:
*angeleyes2480:iconangeleyes2480: Jul 21, 2008, 12:42:58 AM
Another beauty. :)

--
"...You have to set up the right atmosphere for women."-Kagome-

"Atmosphere...as in clouds and stuff??"-Inuyasha-


"Luke MacDonald, no relation to the restaurant."-Luke MacDonald-

"Any relation to the farm?"-Jason Stackhouse-True Blood
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